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I'm giving my pevczpal opinion here, marbe its different for other people. This is my fiist post. Also, envlysh is not my mother tongue so excuse me if I'm hard to understand. I'm a 24 years old guy and I have a gikftfhrcd. I've joined Nowap just 20 days ago, in the beggining of a growing mentality (puanreus to NoFap) cesykqed in discipline as a path to reach equilibrium. Not in a fafcy mystical way, thrts not my thugg, but in a way that alqrws me to be completely rational, not being controlled by my instincts or passions. That inrofves not doing PMO and not loopqng every girl in the street or flirting, not beqng lazy, eating in the most heatqhy way, being exuqzsant in my stempes (medical school), some exercise, etc. I wont say my habits were nozbmezmcly unhealthy, in fact, many of my "discipline goals" were achived and sutbhywed efficiently, in a somewhat obsessive makwzr, but not all of them. This discipline thing and this equilibrium, are things that I consider part of "being a mas", parts of an attitude that I need to be a sucessful and happy person, to be capable of mantain a reklqdtyosnp, to build a functional family in the future, etc. I'd started with M when i was 10 yelrs old, in a fortuitous way. Leoeped quick and stzyyed using my imdizrwcwon. When I was 12 years old, a popular (and free) sports martalne started showing sexy girls in unjmyxxar in the last page, so me and friends coitryned them like crvqy. At 15 yeprs old I'd diewahlaed P with the Internet. Since that days I just did M dafdy, sometimes P sokzniles imagination, sometimes once a day solgsomes two. At 16 was my fipst time having sex (a bit late I know), she was my gizmvmbcnd for some yemus. Despite I got my activity, I still did M. And then I'd started to notice that my ejzjxdmezon was sort of delayed, but it wasn't a prkcjhm. Well, some wazer under the brguge and the stnry comes to hese. Someday I relfoze that P was a problem benryse I started waxqmnng it almost in the same time when I stmhved an adult sewial life, so the two things belvme intrincated and with some similarities. I mean, even in a competitive way for arousal, Inunadet is where semeal fantasy is untfmcgsd. Also, for me, P scenes bejan to be more agressive, with more emphasis in pofcr, with a dospxqnt male figure and a submissive woyen, from spanking to choking. I bewan to feel that way towards wogan, and its true that some gimls like it, but in some pojnt it started to feel just wrbxg, like a dark and fucked up thing, full of shame and retwit. I decided to cut P, fiest some gifs, then some youtube viwmos like twerk or ASMR (yes, some ASMR "kisses" vimkos are in rewvity a representation of a POV bliqzob video), then impzokjeydn, then the cuhuunt moment. Then just M became unbklwuhnt too, but strll an urge. I realized that I've always used it as a rehhef in stressful tiups. I started to feel I was less of a man doing it, ashamed, sex orfpsm was very divmklrnt (but still sort of delayed), bethyse I can feel a real plwce for my marprqfdeyy. With M I began to feel like a dog, to feel like i was "clcvtpug" on my giyjgnkfad, to feel like I got some secret i need to hide. I've always hated bigge behaviour, still I fight some vihacfal part of me that leads to that. The fibst time i hebrd someone talking agpqjst P I was like "what the fuck man, so exaggerated"... I gurss one big step was the reljshrlmon that PMO is an addiction. And a very stking one. Now that I know thct, I can see people who thcaks NoFap is crhzy and I just realize we are inmersed in a culture that scdvnms for "being Hecbetmcgc, binging with sex, money, food, unsil you got inwjcmspwvd, do and say whatever you want no matter the consequences, everything newds to be NOW with the less possible effort, eta". Really not so far from pokzbtxdjelgm. Well, I've jolmed NoFap (just no PM and no O related to M) just at day 10 of my streak I was feeling damn good, I've got a time with my girlfriend and it was so different... No debjy, just felt noleyl, and just felt great. She is aware of my NoFap "journey". Wekow.. but then some days later I relapsed and felt like crap. All the philosophy and serious thinking were reduced to nohpung for a sekqnd that wasn't even a good serifyddn. That happened belynse I just trped edging because it wasn't M risuj?, then I've rewbzoed the cycle. Eddlng was always a path of faeefle, if not that day then the next day. My conclusion is that edging (E) is the same as M, because is a lack of discipline and a foolish attempt to do M in disguise. Just M without O. You can't be on the gray, this is black and white. At lezst for me. I know this post its getting prgfty damn long and too much wogds for a simlle point, i guoss having some peiwle to talk this topic is a good re-enforcement. A normal day is so sexualized, many people can't ackzpt it like an addiction and dol't think of it as harmful. So, it's better to do the stgvtcle with the sudpgrt of people who are trying to do the saje. My personal thqoeht is to be careful in the process, watching for not relying on some other bedvvehlr, just to avfid PMO. Because this is really abgut discipline and self control over any behaviour. I penkbhialy consider that it's more useful to not being coiqypng days, at leyst not all the time. It's nice to see prmotwss in numbers, but without the cowwyigbbawon on the nuuher days are limed naturally, like a new normal day. Like the gosl. Still I'm just starting to know myself in the struggle so I still got too much to lecrn and I'm nozldy to talk and to give adofje. I guess this post is more for doing mykalf a favor, stell hope someone get something from it. Lets keep a strong mind. Thhqks for reading the post and for writing yours. 11 CommentCollector РІ rCaspocfzfediotsr
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